Locked Down in Ohio

By M George

My mind was not settled. It felt betrayed. There’s nothing worse than looking in the mirror and not liking what you see. Where can you hide?

My view of beauty was limited and in my small world, there was only one sister transitioning out of her chemical relaxer. She was six months natural ahead of me and because she stayed true to her natural journey she eventually inspired me. Her process wasn’t physically attractive to me at first. Unlike her, I broke down and chemically relaxed my hair going back to The Lye. When I relapsed back to the crack that called, seduced, and courted me, she was the only one not enamoured with my long, straight flowing hair.

When she asked, my excuse for relaxing my hair was lame. My desire was to have a professional hairstyle for job interviews. Her retort was a list of all the style possibilities I could have pursued. I didn’t know what she was talking about. It made me mad that I didnt know what to do with my natural head of hair. I decided to educate myself on the care of my hair. I felt embarrassed that I didn’t truly love and accept who God made me to be. This raised personal issues for me. Just how much did I really love God if I sat in judgment of His work?

When I transitioned in 2004, I knew I had to make a decision fast or the creamy crack would call out my name again. My two textures would eventually reach a point of discontent, once more if I didn’t disconnect the processed hair from my chemical free hair. My two textures didn’t like the same products and predictably would become unmanageable. I had to break the communication between the chemical free strands and the chemically processed hair. I had to find help.

My DNA demanded God wouldn’t give it to you if He didn’t give you the tools to know what to do!

My Bible said: Everything God made is good. My mind said: Well, why is my hair bad? I pursued wisdom. I courted knowledge. A voice reminded me that once upon a time, my mama did my hair; and, she knew what to do. Her mama did her hair and she knew what to do. Her mama did her daughters hair; and, she knew what to do. So, perhaps, I would inherently know too. This time I would launch out on my journey armed with information. I would find freedom from hairdressers and chemicals. I quit the chemicals and let my hair grow.

I locked my hair in August 2006...braidlocked it down. And I've been at peace ever since. I have flexibility and style without the hindrance of my whole weekend being lost to the process of washing, detangling and styling. May you find you peace and embrace your journey to enlightenment as well.

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